Clumsy Club
It started at Christmas: Confessions of the Clumsiest of Hertfordshire. The New Year arrived and they kept on coming. So we've decided to have a Clumsy Club (Katie's suggestion - see January 2010).
Dawn believes that (as someone who clambers into her car from the boot when the locks freeze, regularly head butts bathroom shelves and light switches, and ultimately set her own shed and fire and yes there were firemen) she is superiorly qualified in her self-appointed role as Chairwoman of the County's Clumsy Clan.
So CLICK HERE to tell us your story of cack-handedness and at least let us have a laugh at your misfortune. We've probably done worse after all, and at least that way you can rest safe in the knowledge that your antics will being joy to those in the near vicinity.
January 2010:
Jo in Knebworth: "Sometimes I swing my arms too much when strolling around; yesterday I swung it right into the printer when walking past and sustained a minor bruise to the arm. On previous occasions I have hit posts, people and dropped items held in my hands eg. phones...." (Dawn has sympathy pains with this: remember when she dropped her mobile down the toilet AND FLUSHED IT AWAY the day before her 30th Birthday?!)
Katie: "The story that you read out yesterday about the lady with the washing and the locked door made me laugh - it also made me wonder if it's clumsy week? Earlier I put some jacket potatoes in the oven, when they came out and were cooling, I had a complete mental block, and picked them up to put them in the oven again. Obviously they were still red hot - YOWEEEE! Although my two year old thought it was hilarious watching me juggling them in the air whilst going "Owch!Oooch!Owch!". Maybe we need some sort of "Clumsy Club"?"
Lucy: "On my way downstairs this morning, I grabbed a big load of washing to throw in the machine. I didn't want to put the washing down to open the kitchen door, so I tried to knock it open with my knee. It didn't budge, so I gave it another hefty whack with my knee - only to realise I hadn't unbolted it. I then had to drop the washing anyway, while I hopped up and down on the spot, clutching my knee and yelping OwOwOwOwOw!!! This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened to me and I'm sure it won't be the last"
Karen mooched into her lounge one morning (no slippers) forgetting her son had left his toy soldiers scattered all over the carpet....much hopping and yelling as she trampled them barefoot all the way to the kitchen! In what the troops later heralded as nothing short of a miracle, not one of them was registered injured or missing in action.
Christmas and New Year 2009/2010:
Karen burnt her bum on the oven while cooking mince pies (yowser!) - how did she manage that?!
Sara dropped a fishtank on her foot (ouch ouch ouch in the middle of the shop), didn't break it (thanks to the now bruised foot) but then cracked the great hulking thing while trying to manouvre it into her car! Luckily the shop replaced it but she blushed...a lot...and has a bruised foot for her trouble.
Katie told us about her work Christmas Party (last year - when she was still brand new!) when she had a little bit too much wine as she was getting ready, and sat on her hair straighteners (Yowch!) burning her dress and resulting in her proclaiming "Oooh!Aaah!Oooh!" every time she sat down at the Do! Despite the pink cheeks (all four of them!) she still works at the same company.
"Miss Dancealot" (chosing to remain anonymous) tells us every Christmas Party is the same...cocktails at midday, lunch at 1pm, sozzled by 3pm, dancing provocatively towards the old men in the local pub by 5pm, thinking you are in the middle of a night club when actually you're the only one on the 'dancefloor' AKA any space you can find to utilise your dance moves.
Polly went to the opera, but was running late so threw on a dress and seeing she had a bad VPL abondoned her knickers, thinking it was the quickest way to sort it (no time for pants pandemonium) but leapt down the steps to the train and ripped the skirt from the bottom almost to the waist (bare bum panic!!). Now she's really late with no shops open and no time to stop so begged a jacket off someone to tie around the waist and found a charity shop at the last minute. They took sympathy on her, even though they were about to close and helped her pin a black nightie into the ripped skirt, and she wore it with her cardie over the top to the Opera. Despite everything she got a compliment from a lady in the toilet queue who said she really liked her dress (minus any sign of a VPL)!!
Lucy in the Hertbeat offices decided to heat up a mince pie - for 3 minutes!! It actually set on fire!! (stinky!) and is still stuck in the bowl...there's a picture somewhere....
Dawn has a Christmas Tree pine needle firmly stuck in her finger (ouch!)...and after a fairly dire Christmas Tree Evacuation is still wondering how to close her brown bin as there's a foot of tree still poking out of the top
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